The communication hierarchy
As frequent readers know, I’m very interested in communication and social interaction. One of my unspoken rules is that you must respond to received communications in the medium in which it was sent or else a medium higher up in the communication hierarchy. What is the communication hierarchy, you may ask? Well, here it is:
- Face-to-face
- Phone
- Instant message
- Text message
Basically, it works like this. If someone calls you up and leaves a message (#2), you should respond either by calling them back (#2) or if you run into them, by mentioning it in person (#1). You should not respond to a phone call by sending an email because you’re moving down the communication hierarchy. If you made plans with someone by phone (#2), then you should cancel by phone if necessary; cancelling by text message (#3) is rude.
The idea behind this is simple: the further down the hierarchy you go, the less personal the communication is and the more difficult it is to sustain a meaningful conversation. Text messages are good for sending quick notes but not for having conversations. I can’t stand when someone sends me a text message that says, “hey”. That’s something you say in person to start a conversation, it doesn’t work as a text message.
The more important the topic or the longer the conversation must be, the closer to the top of the hierarchy you need to go in order to eliminate misunderstandings. This means that most important decisions need to take place either over the phone or in person. On some level, you already know this. You’d certainly not feel comfortable if you called your doctor and he/she told you to report for surgery the next day without seeing you in person first. And anyone who’s ever been dumped by email or IM knows that breakups, as painful as they may be, should be done in person.
I’m probably a rarity, as I prefer to do as much communication as possible in person. I’m more apt to yell over the wall at work than I am to send an IM to that same person, and I’d much rather interview someone in person than over the phone. I hate text messaging and I think people overuse it. I’m also not a huge fan of the phone except when face-to-face isn’t possible, as is the case with my family on the east coast.
So as you’re communicating, mind the hierarchy and you’re likely to have more successful and meaningful communications in the future.
Disclaimer: Any viewpoints and opinions expressed in this article are those of Nicholas C. Zakas and do not, in any way, reflect those of Yahoo!, Wrox Publishing, O'Reilly Publishing, or anyone else. I speak only for myself, not for them.
Both comments and pings are currently closed.
6 Comments
Hadn’t thought of it as the Hierarchy of communication and yet, it makes so much sense and is great advice!
If we abandon F2F and the phone, we are going to lose the depth of connection to others. We can 1,000 "friends" or names in our database…and be able to send tweets to 200 of our best buds but it’s important to have those people we can call, have a "beverage" and share our good times and bad ones. But I’m very biased. As author of the forthcoming Face to Face and How To Work a Room, I want people to engage, connect, have fun and make real friends. Thanks for the tip; I will quote you.
Susan RoAne on May 5th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Hey Susan - I completely agree! I want people to get out from behind their computers and converse with people face-to-face. I do feel we’re slowly losing the ability to socialize and interact with people because of things like email and instant message. I know I enjoy being around people more than computers.
Good luck with your books, please let me know when they’re out, I’d love to read them.
Nicholas C. Zakas on May 5th, 2008 at 11:39 pm
So that time I called, left a message, and got an email in response…
I’m an introvert, so email and/or IM is my medium of choice. I haven’t really thought about it at work when I have to get back with a vendor, and opt to email instead of return the call. I guess I should rethink that.
Jeremy on May 7th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I fully agree with this hierarchy. Especially email is really bad. In the past I’ve made several mistakes by unnecessarily upsetting people by communicating with them through email while I could have used something higher up the ladder.
I hate the phone too. Nothing comes even close to talking to people in person. There’s no substitute, no matter how technologically advanced.
Marco on May 9th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Entirely agreed, Nicholas. I, for one, try to follow a similar structure, though I am often guilty of initiating a convo on IM - especially at work - with a message asking if someone has a few minutes, then going to them for face-to-face.
Why I cannot do that over phone, I do not have a good reason. Simplicity, I guess.
Joshua on May 9th, 2008 at 1:25 am
I hate phones too, and prefer email. Does that make me introvert? I think in many cases it’s the best way of communicating because you automatically leave a paper (or digital) trail. In that respect it beats talking to people in person (with or without witnesses) or over the phone. And how does voicemail fit into this hierarchy?
René on May 22nd, 2008 at 12:11 pm